Week 2 Story: The Timid Rabbit

Long ago, there was a rabbit asleep under an apple tree. Normally the rabbit dreamed of carrots and veggies in a farm and chasing his brothers and sisters in play time. However, on this particular day the rabbit had a terrible dream. The ground began to shake, and break apart below his feet as he chased his brothers. He watched as the ground swallowed up his brothers and sisters and he began to run away as the ground broke apart behind him, as though the earth was chasing him trying to swallow him up as well. Unfortunately, the rabbit could not out run the breaking of the earth and he fell. As he fell into the abyss, he awoke from his nightmare. Realizing that it was only a dream, the rabbit began to be at ease. Just then some monkeys dropped apples from the tree and they landed just behind the rabbit. Hearing the noise and fearing his dream becoming a reality, the rabbit took off to find his family to tell them the earth was breaking a part. He gathered up his family as well as other woodland critters and ran as fast as they could to the King of all beasts, The Lion. The Lion King heard there cries and had the rabbit take him back to where the earth first started to break apart and they saw that everything was fine. The King and the rabbit returned and told the animals that everything was okay.

The World's Ending!!!
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Author's Notes: Hey guys! It's the first story of the semester and I decided to introduce you to my style of writing. The way I write my stories for those of you who did not take the Myth-Folklore course or haven't read any stories from last semester is quite simple, I write my stories as though I were telling them verbally to my friends and family. Dialogue, though important, isn't something that I usually include in my stories when I tell stories and therefore I rarely use dialogue in my  retelling of stories. I typically don't change a whole lot from the original except leaving out dialogue because I love the original stories and want to tell them to my friends and family. In the original story, the rabbit was asleep under a palm-tree and the monkeys threw a coconut, but I like apples and apple tree's because I think it's easier for us all to think about rabbits today in the woods under trees and apple trees. Anyways, I hope you all liked the story and I look forward to sharing more retelling stories with you guys and I especially look forward to our semester project!

Bibliogrophy:  THE FOOLISH, TIMID RABBIT, Jataka Tales by Ellen C. Babbitt
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Comments

  1. Laura Lee McCreeJanuary 31, 2018 at 9:37 AM

    Hi Jake!

    I like the falling dream bit! I have dreams like that occasionally and I find them very disorienting. It is a nice addition to the original story we read and I think adds a bit more logic to the rabbit's sudden decision that the world is ending. I also feel that the choice to remove excess dialogue leaves a cleaner feel to the story. With shorter stories too much dialogue can be distracting for me, both as a writer or a reader. I look forward to reading more of your work!

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  2. UnknownFebruary 2, 2018 at 10:47 PM

    Hey Jake!

    I liked the bit you added about the rabbit's usual dreams. It added another angle to view the rabbit from because it put the thought of the rabbit being happy and spending time with his family in your head before he begins his doomsday tour. The dream was pretty vivid as well, and you used the connection he has to his family that you established earlier to elicit a stronger reaction from the reader to the terrifying dream.

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  3. UnknownFebruary 5, 2018 at 11:00 PM

    Hey Jake! I truly enjoyed reading this story but I was thinking what if the dream actually was a reality? I think it could be a fun twist to have him see the future and save them from an actual disaster. I do like the suspense you build however with the apple falling and the ground shaking. This does a great job of making the reader think it could be happening for real. I had my WOW moment when I realized that everything was fine, because of the lion getting involved, I started to think the rabbit wouldn't do so without knowing it was going to happen. I would say I like how the rabbit was trying to be a hero, for I think that it would be a weird dynamic if he hadn't taken precautions. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this story and can't think of any major changes you should make.

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