Comment Wall
Hey Guys!! Welcome to my comment wall! Let me know how you like my story and what critiques you have! Thanks
https://sites.google.com/view/king-arthur-in-india
https://sites.google.com/view/king-arthur-in-india
Introduction to a Comm Major's Gamer Life
Hello everyone, My name is Jake Compton and I am a Senior Communication Major. I have been in college since FA 2012 and have changed my major a few times starting with Chemical Engineering, moving to Finance, and finally settling on Communication. Initially I went to The University of Tulsa and played football my freshman year, but the struggles of football plus Chem E. was a lot to handle and I ended up transferring out and going to community college for a while. Finally making my way to OU as a Finance major however after doing very bad in Calc 2 I finally switched to Communication. Lucky for me, I want to be a sales rep. for a chemical company such as Chevron Phillips, Exxon, Shell, etc. and there are many majors that I can use to achieve that. After quitting football I was looking for something to do competitively and my brother introduced me to Magic: The Gathering and I have been playing that semi-competitively since 2013 and plan on being more competitive after graduation. Mo
Hey Jake, I think it is cool that you are taking the stories that you have written previously and continuing with that theme. I have always been a fan of the story of King Arthur and that is what got me to read this story from the list. It is a very interesting topic and has a lot of potential. One of the questions I have about this story is how Arthur is going to fit into it. As it was Shiva that brought him into the story, there are a couple of options that I saw. One being that he is simply another character added in to help Rama in his adventures, or you could implement King Arthur as a reincarnation into one of the characters that already exist. I feel like the latter would fit with the themes of Hinduism, but this is your project and creative ideas! There is a lot of potential for this story and I look forward to reading the next sections of the stories.
ReplyDeleteHey Jake! I think it is an amazing idea to do a King Arthur/camelot theme. I really like how you are doing a continuation of your previous project. There is a lot of directions you can go from here. Will Hanuman be a character in the story? Will Arthur be replacing a character? I like how Rama has a partner with him through his quest. As great as he may be, sometimes there are people with the hero helping from the background. I really like your story. It is interesting and definitely something I would like to continue reading! I am interested to see how their quest will go. I look forward to reading more when you get further along with it. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Jake!
ReplyDeleteAs I am sure you have read several times already, I think it is really cool that you are combining the characters from the legends of King Arthur, Camelot, and the knights of the round table, with the Indian Epics that we have read in class. Out of curiosity, what made you decide to do this? I loved running around my front yard as a kid pretending to be King Arthur (and watching the terrible 80's movie Excalibur), but I never would have thought to combine those stories with the stories that we have read in class. I look forward to reading your stories in the future, and good luck!
Hey man just was looking through the class directory to find an interesting story to hopefully read and get to give some of my feedback on and I happen to run across yours. The title right off the bat caught my attention and I thought to myself, a classic folklore like King Arthur and the knights in India, I have to give this a read. So first off, nice job on picking a really interesting topic. I think there are a ton of ways you could incorporate the king into these stories. Although time periods may be a little apart I think it could still work that you have Rama wondering bout in the forest and run into King Arthur and his men. Arthur with the Excalibur is an excellent swordsman but Rama is a skilled bowman so maybe they would do battle with one another and then have a truce ending with Arthur telling Rama that he would help him in his quest for Sita. But hey, that's only one direction so good luck and I hope it all turns out well for you.
ReplyDeleteHey there, Jake!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the concept of this storytelling idea. I had not even thought about doing a crossover story of this magnitude. King Arthur is one of my favorite legends to read about, so I was really excited to see that you incorporated him into the Indian Epics. I have also grown very fond of Rama after reading the Ramayana. I think he is one of the coolest heroes that I have had the chance to learn more about. There are so many awesome adventure stories that take place during the Ramayana. My favorite stories were the ones that involved battle scenes between Rama and Ravana. I think there are a lot of possibilities for you here. You can take the story in so many directions. I am really excited to see how you will incorporate King Arthur into the fray. Will he play a similar role as the monkey king Sugriva?
Hi Jake! This is so creative. I really like how you are taking this story and crossing it with King Arthur. This is really unique. I was in the mythology-folklore class last semester and did my storybook project over the Women of Camelot. This is such a great idea to cross the stories. This will be a very exciting and unique project to keep up with. A comment above asked if Hanuman will still be a character in your story. Will Arthur be replacing Hanuman or will he just be a partner to Rama? I also really like King Arthur and I feel like Rama and Arthur will create a perfect dynamic duo. Will Arthur just be a partner to Rama or will this story be in his perspective? Will he reference Camelot? This project looks great so far, and I look forward to seeing how this takes shape. Great job and best of luck.
ReplyDeleteHey Jake. It is pretty neat that you are continuing a chain of stories from last semester. The way you have brought the stories of King Arthur into the Indian epics is really unique. Having Shiva search out aid for Rama is an interesting concept and is full of potential. In Arthur’s Second Chance, in the second paragraph, you may want to consider finding new sentence transitions. You use ‘however’ a little too frequently, and it makes the story feel a little cluttered. You may also look into breaking up that large chunk of text into several smaller paragraphs and increasing the font size to make it a little more readable. The second section of your story book has a number of typos in it, and you should spend some time reading through it to get them out. You may also want to add a link to your comment wall to your homepage for ease of navigation. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Jake great story! It's really interesting that you are crossing King Arthur's stories and the Indian Epics in this course, and continuing your storybook from last semester. Introducing King Arthur into the Ramayana adds a lot of depth into the story and allows you to take the story wherever you want it go. For the future stories, I think it would be entertaining to create new places that Rama, Sita, and King Arthur travel. Maybe instead of Lanka, they go to a different island or even somewhere familiar to King Arthur. I am also impressed by the backstory that you have provided. Bringing Shiva into the first story from this semester immediately connects the two stories, and provides a connection between Rama and King Arthur. One thing I might recommend is progressing the storybook quicker. I don't know if you have any plans to keep the storybook going after this semester, but progressing the story a bit faster will allow a resolution to take place in the new few stories. Great job, I look forward to continue reading.
ReplyDeleteHey Jake! That's so coll that you were able to continue the story you worked on in the Mythology and Folklore class! I loved writing my storybook last semester and I sometimes wish I had tried to incorporate my storybook heroine into my storybook for Indian Epics.
ReplyDeleteI think that your introduction did a great job of introducing us to this King Arthur who is obviously very different from the one we know. When I read nine tailed fox I was definitely taken aback! I think, just to be sure, it would be helpful to add almost some sort of disclaimer? At the beginning maybe you could have the cheesy "you may think you know the story of King Arthur, but oh buddy are you wrong..." or ya know, something similar, maybe more creative. Really call attention to the fact that this is not by any means the traditional King Arthur story.
I would work on the transition from talking to Sita to talking to Rama. I had to reread to make sure Sita was no longer talking. Maybe describe Rama. What are Arthur's impressions of him? It would be extra helpful to have a paragraph break between them walking to Rama to actually speaking with him.
Hi jake,
ReplyDeleteContinuing on from a story your wrote last semester is a cool idea. It is almost like a conglomerate of the two. King Arthur will be fun to read about in the layout of this course. I like how you provided background information as to some prior exploits of Arthur in your story. Having him meet with Shiva was a cool twist. Also it was a great way to incorporate the epics of India into the realm of King Arthur. I would consider adding your authors notes to the beginning of your story rather than the end. This brings all the background information from the source material to the readers attention from the beginning. I always like it when I get that information up front.
Nice to meet you Jake!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your first story and it was amazing! Your idea for your storybook is incredible and it appears to be coming along quite nicely. Anything to do with magic or supernatural things, I will always be able to find an interest in. This made reading your story incredibly fun and easy to accomplish. I enjoyed how you took out Rama's brother, as he is not essential to the story. I actually did this in one of my little stories early on. I also liked how you created a language barrier to overcome. Having Rama be able to not only use archery, but magic is super awesome and sounds a little over powered. I can not wait to see what attributes you give to Ravana to counteract Rama's power! What if you gave him an ability that has to do with his ten head?
Jake, your project was the one I choose this week. I am a fan of King Author and got to read recreation stories last semester with this theme so when I saw the title of your project I knew it was going to be the one I selected. I also think I might have read your story you did last semester in the Mythology and Folklore class. I like that your Introduction explained the correlation of how King Arthur was able to be transported into "The Ramayana" world and why he is going there. I also enjoyed that you explained the training aspect of Rama having power and strength over his new bow. It is just assumed in the original that Rama knew how to wield the power of the bow with no training. You could maybe add a story as to who taught Arthur how to wield his magical sword, since we can assume he had to have a mentor teach him as well. Also, only a small note, you could add a link on the home page to your comment page to make it easier for readers to navigate between the pages. Great story and project, I cannot wait to come back and see how your final project turns out!
ReplyDeleteHey Jake! It's really interesting that you are continuing a storybook from a previous semester. It really helps to create an immersive story when you have a lot of material already covered from last semester. I think you could use a brief overview of the previous stories on your new website homepage. It would help people with some backstory if they don't have time to read your previous website. I really like your first story and think it does a good job of jumping right into it. I think the first couple lines are a strong setup for story and a nice backdrop for the main character. I really like the images on all of your pages and think they do a good job of setting the mood and giving context to your stories. Your second story has really strong dialogue and I think it makes the reader understand the characters better.
ReplyDeleteHi Jake!
ReplyDeleteYour storybook site is easy to navigate, had no issues with functionality. I like that each of your stories has the common thread of Arthur, and that I can read about Arthur's entrance and continued adventures in the world of ancient India.
Arthur's Second Chance is a great prequel, and sets the stage very nicely for the adventures of Arthur and Rama. I like that the crossover is instigated by Shiva, and part of me wonders if the entirety of the story from that point might be the end of Arthur's old life (he died perhaps?), and his beginning anew in another (which would tie in with the cyclic existence so prevalent in Hindu legend). Also, including a brief summary of King Arthur's events in your previous work in an author's note would help here, in my opinion.
In the second story, I would like to know how Arthur became so proficient with a bow (good enough to tutor Rama), when he is known primarily for his sword work. Maybe a sentence or two could cover that, or even reference previous exploits?
This is a really fun concept, and I enjoyed reading each. Well done!
Hey, Jake! I think it is awesome that you are continuing a former project. I also think it is very creative that you decided to combine tales of King Arthur with The Ramayana. It's especially interesting since both are similar in that they follow the track of what's called the "Hero's Journey," most notably outlined by a mythologist named Joseph Campbell. In your storybook, it seems that Arthur is taking the role of mentor to Rama, which is super cool since he had a mentor in Merlin. Anyway, My only real revision suggestion would be to read aloud or have someone read your stories to you because there are a few places that are repetitive; you use the same adjective several times in the same paragraph etc. Otherwise, great job and I look forward to reading more of Arthur's journey with Rama.
ReplyDeleteHey Jake! I love the look of your story book. I have always loved the stories of King Arthur and I really like what you have done with them. It is always awesome to re-imagine classic stories form our childhood in new ways. Your writing style is great and has a nice flow. You really draw the readers in and make the stories really fun to read. I hope to come back and read more!
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you Jake!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your introduction to you storybook. You set up the story incredibly well. Making Arthur similar to Naruto was very clever, especially as you did not mention it throughout your story book, which I keenly enjoyed. This helped me picture how truly powerful Arthur must be by comparing him to Naruto's strength. It's also really cool that you are doing a continuation of your storybook from last semester. I am surprised you are able to create more content off the same storyline, which is incredibly impressive. The ambiguity behind what time Arthur is from and what time he gets sent back to is a interesting addition, as I am curious to read more to be able to discover what time he is from relative to the time he gets sent back to. I also enjoyed that you replaced Rama's brother with him, because Rama's brother is a non-essential character, in my opinion.
Hey Jake! I'm from the Myth and Folklore class and your title drew me in. I think the idea of transplanting Arthur into a new place is really cool and I really like how you tied it to your work last semester. I think overall your story idea is really cool and your site fits with that theme. The blending of different myths together should be interesting. I also think that in your first story, it looks a little like a text block. Maybe you could start a new paragraph somewhere in there? It reads well but doesn't have enough breaks. Your second story does really well with dialogue. It contrast with eh wall of text from the first story. I think that this is a really cool idea and I think it will work well. Looking forward to reading more in the future.
ReplyDeleteHi Jake! I really liked the twist you put on the original Arthurian legend. It is so cool that you are continuing the same theme from last semester. I remember when I was first reading your introduction that it seemed so familiar. I went back to your home page and realized that it was you that had written the older story and that you were simply continuing it. I like how you make King Arthur, Rama’s teacher as it follows the Hero trope of having a master and training with him. I also really liked how you made the battle sequence in the story The Sword and Bow Fell a Giant shorter so that you could focus on the bonding between King Arthur and Rama. I think it is more important to focus on character development rather than spending it on very specific and very elaborate battle sequences. I think you did a great job of having both character development and battle sequences in you storybook.
ReplyDeleteHello Jake!
ReplyDeleteI've never really read much about King Arthur, but I think it's pretty interesting to tie in two completely different stories! I love cross overs. Reading about all the different abilities Arthur has is awesome, and I may be wrong, but I definitely got that Naruto vibe from the nine-tail fox! Japanese animes are always so interesting and I like that you incorporated from that world as well. Your stories have a very mystical feel while also being able to keep the scene more in the Indian Epic's world. You have great descriptions of your characters and the dialogue is great! The only thing I can really suggest is to maybe add a bit more breaks in your dialogue. For example, when Rama and Arthur are talking about their pasts and Rama asks Arthur about his, it is a very long dialogue without any breaks that tell us what Rama is doing while saying this. Maybe use that dialogue, break it with a "Rama looked up while sharpening his bow," and continuing the dialogue. I think it would help the audience get a better visual on what the characters are doing while speaking! Overall, I really love your stories and I hope to read more about Arthur in your next story!
Hey Jake! I am excited to see how your stories are coming along. You have added two more since the last time I visited which is great progress. I still think it might be useful for you to include a small introduction to both your past storybook and your new one on your home page because right now there is still nothing to draw people in and make them engage with your stories. It would be nice to some background since there is already an existing story line you created from a past semester. I like your two new stories a lot and they do a good job of breaking up dialogue in an easy to read way and make it more engaging as a reader. I think you could use a better background picture on your third story however because it doesn't seem to relate much to the story and is the same as your home page. Overall, great storybook and I like what you have done with your project over the past 2 semesters.
ReplyDeleteHi Jake. First of all, I really like the layout of your project website. It's very easy to navigate and looks good! I also like the background images you've used, they look really cool. As for your concept, I like how you've combined English storytelling with Indian storytelling. Arthur and Rama are both great heroes in their own stories, so bringing them together in your project was such a cool and creative idea. I also am a big fan of adding dialogue into stories, I really liked how you did that. It breaks up the story and makes it easier to read while giving the characters a voice, rather than just narrating every move. Overall, really good storybook, I look forward to reading a some more before the semester is over!
ReplyDeleteHello Jake,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the layout of your project. I thought it had some fun pictures and I enjoyed looking over it all. You did really good at picking out pictures that fit the stories well. I liked Arthur's Second Chance. I love how it introduces us to what you are going to be talking about in these next few stories. I liked A Heavenly Sword and Divine Bow because of the description of the bow. The bow is one of my favorite and I love that it is Rama's also.I love that he fought for her love. I am glad you kept that true to him. The Sword and Bow Fell a Giant, at first I was confused with the topic but once I got to reading I understood. I like how you tied in Arthur and Rama into the same story. It was pretty neat to ready. Your author's note also helped me a lot. Good job!
Hey Jake!
ReplyDeleteI was so excited when I saw your storybook title, I just knew I had to read it. I love Arthurian Legends, so I was very interested to see how you combined these two well established legends (Rama and Arthur). Your first story was really fun to read and you did a great job on selecting images that set the scene well. For the second story, I liked how you told the backstory of Rama and Sita through dialogue between the two heroes. The friendly chat fit the two characters perfectly. Traditionally, Arthur is a very pious character, so it may add an interesting dynamic to have Arthur talk a little bit about his God, not in a way that causes conflict but in a way that shows that two people with different beliefs can work together. I think your storybook would benefit from adding in a sidekick or two for each hero. Rama is closely associated with Hanuman, and Arthur almost always has a fellow knight by his side. It may be interesting to throw in a couple more characters to add depth to your story.